I was made redundant yesterday.
Over the last two weeks I’ve been asked many times how I feel; a very confusing question. It would be very easy to feel bitter and angry, but I don’t want to as I joined the company straight after university so it feels like I’ve grown up there. However, that hasn’t stopped me feeling a mix of emotions.
- I’m leaving people I’ve worked with for a long time
- I won’t see the young people I’ve worked with develop into their careers
- It has been many years since I last looked for a job
- I don’t know what jobs are out there
- how will we pay the mortgage
- I feel I’m ready for a change, but I don’t know to what
- I was told the half of my job that was internally focussed was a ‘nice to have’ and therefore a low priority going forward, but I know most of those tasks have been handed on to other people
- It is inconvenient as my son goes to the pre school on the site where I worked so I need to find a new pre school for just 9 months before he starts school
- I’ve seen this coming for four years, so it is a relief that it has finally happened
- I’ve worked at the company for fourteen years, met some great people (including my daughter’s godmother) and worked on some fun projects
- The company enabled me to grow and develop, including paying for me to do a Diploma in Applied Management
- A new area of the business had recently been formed that I was excited to try
- I feel like I’m leaving a project unfinished. I know it will be completed without me, but I’ve been working on improving my team’s webpages for so long it feels very unsatisfactory to leave it
- Many colleagues have told me I’ve inspired and motivated them, and one said I completely changed their view about blogging
- It feels good to be clearing out old information; I’ve recycled piles and piles of paper and deleted years worth of emails. In fact it feels really good
- I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I feel optimistic about the future (in fact I maybe starting to get a little bit excited)
As you can see I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster for the last two weeks, and I’m sure I’m not at the end of it yet. But now I’ve walked out of the door for the last time I expect the healing will start, especially as I look towards the future and the opportunities that are out there (of course if you know of any opportunities or you have advice please leave a comment or get in touch here or on LinkedIn).