So 1992 did not immediately get better after I decided to start a new regime. Although perhaps recognising I’m a “moody cow” is part of self-acceptance process!
Today wasn’t too bad but I’ve learnt I’m a moody cow who people find it hard to get on with.
So there we are, I discovered that people didn’t get on with me because of my behaviour. I think this could have been a real turning point in my life. If I’d understood and believed I can control my behaviour, and not that of other people. Plus if I behaved how I wanted it would attract suitable people into my life. Unfortunately, I don’t think I knew this so I’m not expecting to see a dramatic change in future entries.
I’ve made a mess of my life so far (not that long)
This sentence continues but changes to new topic before concluding this one. “I’ve made a mess of my life so far (not that long) but falling out with xx, xx, xx, xx and xx …” what? What was I thinking about the impact of falling out with my friends? The text becomes fairly bitter and makes me even more curious about the rest of my initial thought.
I must try and organise my life a bit better so I’m ready.
“why do I want to keep this reminder of how unhappy I was?”
So you are remembered of how things have changed for the better. The past is part of who you are and what makes you who you are today.
That is very true and something I should remember every time I read something in an old journal that makes me cringe.
Thank you.