My 1992 journal continues to be full of angst. And it is uncomfortable to read as it brings back memories of how unhappy I was. However, this entry has some hope because I’ve decided to take some positive action and start a new regime. But I have to admit I’m a little concerned (and embarrassed) that 25 years on I’m still working on getting to bed earlier and eating healthier. I’m now asking the question, how much progress have I made since my teens?
Tomorrow I am going to start a new regime. Early nights – healthier eating etc. Today instead of chocolate and crisps for breakfast I had toast.
Unfortunately, the positive thoughts didn’t last long, and I’m back to bitterness about my “friends”. And strangely what I’ve achieved. This is something I’m thinking about now as I approach my 40th birthday, but don’t remember thinking about it while I was at school. I wonder what I wanted to have achieved or what I thought I should have achieved.
I haven’t done much with my life recently. I’m falling out with so many people but at least I’ll be able to write what I want in here now knowing R will not read it.
And to round off my questions about the progress I’ve made, I talk about my poor organisation (and more bitterness towards a “friend”).
I am not very organised either. Oh well, I can only try and prove K wrong the bitch.
What did you want to achieve 25 years ago? Are you still working on the same things as then? Do you think after 25 years of trying I should accept my late nights, poor eating and disorganisation? Should I work on improving other areas or is it always worth persevering?